Epic VAC Battles of History! Can you see past the fierce advertising and find what's really best?

I don't watch much TV, but boy do I love YouTube! BTW - hopefully you've checked out our QueenVac YouTube channel! It's a little rough in its infancy, but we're always improving and our gears are always turning with new ideas. Even though I try to keep my YouTube consumption reigned in I can't resist parodies and generally well-made videos. They're so creative, inspiring, and of course, entertaining. All too often I pause to jot notes as my mind distorts the video into some vacuum-related concept! I've developed a similar annoying habit with songs and commercials. In any case, one of my favorite channels, ERB, combines history and music into hysterically funny parodies called "Epic Rap Battles of History."  

Who will win? You decide!

ERB videos include match-ups like Bill Gates vs Steve Jobs; Wright Brothers vs Mario Brothers; Myth Busters Vs Ghost Busters; Darth Vader vs Hitler. See the pattern?  How could I stop my mind from imagining blockbuster battles like Hoover Windtunnel vs EurekaWhirlwind; James Dyson vs David Oreck; Dyson Animal vs Miele Cat & Dog? Oh goodness, the endless possibilities! But considering that videos (even as rudimentary as mine) take days to make, you'll have to settle for this article and a few photoshopped graphics to envision these rivalries...for now!

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James Dyson

The major vacuum manufacturers do a pretty fierce job of "battling it out" in the real world. The money some brands spend on advertising probably tops the GDP of a small nation. Others prefer to invest far more in product development and quality manufacturing than on ads. Regardless, it's easy for a consumer to get lost in the hype; mis-led into buying products that are a poor fit for their needs, or don't do not perform like they seem on TV.  

So how do you navigate this "battleground" of vacuum advertising to get the product that's right for you and will be worth your investment?
 Here are a few simple tips:
 

1)   Look at the key words in the advertising claim. Are the terms clearly definable and provable? Do they even seem like an accurate method for measuring the vacuum's cleaning performance? If it seems too good to be true, it just might be.

2)    Investigate instances of repair. Check with experts like us; a business that sells and repairs vacuums. We are authorized for so many brands that we see how they hold up in real life and what types of issues they come in for under warranty. Online reviews can be helpful too, but look for ones that were written several months (or even years after it was bought.) Many vacs work just fine out of the box and for a month or so. But often they break, fail or require more maintenance than you're willing to perform. 

3)    Is it the correct format for your household? The demonstration of that snazzy bagless upright vacuum on QVC might have shown it making mincemeat of glitter and cereal crumbs on berber carpeting. But will that machine well suit your bare floors or shag area rugs? And although it looks so easy to empty that "convenient dirt bin," can your allergic children tolerate the dust cloud left behind in the kitchen when you empty it at home? 

  

So what are our lessons today? Let the manufacturers battle all they want. In fact, sit back and enjoy the show! Just don't believe everything you see on TV or a vacuum's packaging (at least not without doing a little research first!) If you rely on an advertised feature working exactly as claimed, please consult an expert (like us) to make sure that it can live up to your expectations. And someday soon you may even have the pleasure of watching our own "Epic VAC Battle" production on youTube!  We feel information should be administered honestly and fairly, yet with a healthy dose of humor! So we're always excited to produce videos and articles that are not just educational, but quirky and fun. Please keep your suggestions coming for questions and topics and "contestants" you'd like us to feature. Now, go enjoy the shows!

 

Since I've blatantly plagiarized their name, you should at least check out ERB's YouTube channel! Warning - It's addictive!

Diaperless Babies?! What can we learn about vacuums from this child-rearing trend?

What do diaperless babies have to do with vacuum cleaners? Hopefully nothing, directly. But there is an increasingly popular potty-training method that has a peculiar parallel to trends in the vacuum world! "Elimination communication."  Perhaps you've heard of it?  You may find this information enlightening or possibly disturbing. Either way, we hope it just gets you thinking. 

From Wikipedia:"Elimination communication, or EC, is a practice in which....using timing, signals, cues, and intuition...caregivers try to recognize and respond to babies' bodily needs and enable them to [eliminate waste] in an appropriate place (e.g. a toilet)... The term...was inspired by traditional practices of diaper-less baby care in less industrialized countries and hunter-gatherer cultures...Because EC lessens families' reliance on diapers, this helps reduce the environmental impact of discarding disposable diapers and/or washing cloth diapers, and saves families hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in disposable diapers."     **CLICK HERE for a humerous review of "Elimination Communication" from Stephen Colbert ** 

So now I'll let you in on the analogy/inside joke that we've used for years:"Bagless vacuums are like diaperless babies."  How can we make such a bold and repulsive comparison? Because we fix vacuums for a living!  (BTW - If you currently operate bagless, pleeeease do not be offended. We simply hope you consider our expert opinions carefully and

utilize the constructive tips we offer.) 

If you've subscribed for any length of time you are well aware of our company's feelings on bagless vacuums..."YUCK!" If you're a newcomer, the main reason we have such a poor opinion of bagless machines is because of their high demand for cleaning/maintenance and the unsanitary condition that presents. The second greatest issue is that (versus bagged equivalents) we see an incredibly high rate of clogging, breakage and catastrophic failure that lead to their premature "death" and disposal. Most folks are misled into believing that bagless vacs are " practically maintenance free", "great for allergies" and/or "economical." I've written countless articles in the past exposing the erroneous rational behind each of those claims, in great detail. (Click each respective link to see a corresponding article or video from our archives, or visit our Articles Archive to see more.)

Of course bagless vacuums have certain advantages. Most bagless owners quote a great sense of gratification from actively seeing how much dirt they retrieve while vacuuming. They also mention feeling relief from the burden of having to "run out and buy bags" and love how cheap most are to buy up front. Unfortunately, most people discover that these blessings turn into a curse in the long run. 

 Now back to our analogy. It's easy to see the likeness between disposable vacuum cleaner bags and disposable baby diapers. So the converse must be true, right? Let's see what similarities we can find...  
 The more you look at it, babies (diapered and not) and vacuums (bagged and not) have a lot in common! And each style has its particular advantages and disadvantages. Which format is right for you depends on your priorities and preferences. 

Start by deciding what your end goal is, then work backward. Framed within the bigger picture, you'll want to consider the finer details like costs; up-front and long-term expenses. Also think about the effects your choice may have on your lifestyle, both positive and negative. Again, the majority of this deliberation requires some gazing into the future!

If it's your baby, your goals may be for her to reach potty independence sooner and to save on the cost of diapers. But you must be available and willing to take her to the restroom as soon as she gives the cue - and be prepared for the accident in case there are no facilities nearby. Could all that be a game-changer?

Similarly, a bagless vacuum from Wal-Mart may suit your budget right now and seem convenient. But do you have the facilities to empty the bin and wash the filters in a sanitary location? Do you have the desire, time and space to wash the filters and let them dry (or money to replace them if required?) Can you afford the long-term expense of replacing the entire vacuum almost every year? Would it bother your ecological conscience to know the severe negative impact you'll make in the landfill?  Babes or bags, reach your goal by making sure that you have the equipment and wherewithal to take the necessary steps - ones that actually go in the right direction!

The bottom line?  Using the EC potty training method can unquestionably reduce the quantity of diapers in the city dump. If you were hand-washing cloth diapers to reduce the bulk of trash, you would still be using a considerable amount of water and detergent, something not entirely without environmental impact. There are plausible environmental and (possibly developmental) advantages to these child care methods over the typical "Pamper-ed" lifestyle. But the question is whether you, as a parent,would be willing and able to be so "hands-on?"The same question can be asked of the bagless vacuum owner... Bagless has its benefits, but be prepared for some extra, hands-on maintenance and a lot of hidden costs! 

If you are a newer subscriber, you've missed a few years worth of incredibly FUN and helpful TIPS, product reviews and advice! Visit our Newsletter Articles Archive Today!

Major Appliance = Major Expense? How much should you pay for a really good vacuum?

Major Appliance = Major Expense?     (December 2015)

How much should you pay for a really good vacuum?

Perhaps you're one of the many embarking on a frenzy of gift-giving this month. Even if you're one who prefers to keep all that low-key, you’d still be wise to take advantage of the sweet sales going on! If given the choice, who wouldn’t wait until the Black Friday-type sales came along to buy that “desperately-needed” new washing machine, TV, computer or vacuum cleaner? After all, major appliances are “expensive,” right? 

A major appliance is usually a relatively large machine/device used in the essential operations of your home and family care. The fridge and oven both help you feed your family. The washer and dryer care for the clothes you wear. The furnace and AC units keep you comfortable. These are all important and useful, hard-working items and they indeed can be costly. Yet they relieve you of so much irritating and time-consuming work they’re totally worth every penny. $1000 for a washing machine though? It sure is better than beating your dirty britches on some river rocks, so I’ll take it! In fact, throw the dryer for me too!

And thank goodness for televisions! Sorry, I’m being facetious...TV’s don’t actually “DO” anything. So why do folks seem fine with spending so much money on them? Don’t forget about the added cost of the channel subscription... That alone can add an extra $20-$100 every single month!

I’m sure you can detect that I’ve attempted a tactful segue...Indeed, I hope my humor will allow you to forgive my audacity in stating that I don’t EVER want to hear someone complain about the price of a vacuum cleaner again!   LOL ;-)

In my experience, “expensive” is a word usually accompanied by a sneer, furrowed brow and/or deep scrunching of the nose. Not attractive. Admittedly, I’ve become irritated by the overuse of this highly subjective word. I know folks don’t intend any harm or insult, yet the implication is that the purchase of a high-end vacuum is wasteful, a rip-off or money that would be “better” spent elsewhere.  Such a reaction tells me is that a vacuum is not as sexy, exciting, satisfying or important as a designer purse, luxe carpeting, new car payments, video games, plasma TV, or even daily trips to Starbucks. I know...I get it. Some vacuums simply cost more than folks had expected to spend.

Perhaps I’ve become hyper-sensitive. Have I’ve become mentally scarred by the cries of customers sickened by the cost of a decent vacuum? ...Complaints uttered (ironically) after discussing the colossal square-footage of their homes and 6-figure cost of floors and furnishings? ...Disturbing discussions about the suffering and cost of healthcare for seriously allergic family members. Ever hear the phrase “penny-wise and pound-foolish?”  Oh!! If could only get people to understand the importance and value of a quality vacuum I could end the wastefulness and suffering!  (And that’s what this whole newsletter series is about!)

A vacuum cleaner is a critical, household workhorse and thus a major appliance. Accordingly, room should be allocated in your budget for a quality, appropriately-equipped machine. Vacuums were always costly - check your history. They used to be made well, lasted for decades and cleaned like the dickens. Great vacuums still exist and they clean even better than before with greater ease. But they are not “cheap” and you will not find them at Wal-Mart or Costco.

A vac that works and lasts like Grandma's will cost the same as she paid, after adjusting for inflation. Today, you're looking at about $400 - $1,000 for a quality, reputably-branded, carpet-and-bare-floor cleaning, HEPA filtration, 10-20 year vacuum. Going forward, general tune-ups and maintenance items should tally about $50-$100 annually. But don't think "expensive" and sneer. If you'd bought a car, you'd allot for not only the original purchase but also the gas, oil, tune-ups, tires and the occasional breakdown or accident. Or I dunno...maybe you put your car to the curb when it gets a flat tire or needs an alignment?  What's "expensive" (i.e. wasteful) is replacing a crummy vacuum every year. Even worse is having to prematurely replace furnishings! Poor vacuum performance renders sofas and rugs matted, dingy and curb-worthy. Needlessly aggressive vacuums wears and tears up carpeting and leaves hardwood floors dull and scuffed. 

$4K for a TV?!  Don't ever tell me a vacuum is expensive!

Besides speculative brain-rotting, there’s nothing “wrong” with a fancy TV, game console, stereo system or even uber-designer fashions. But some folks appear to value these products far above those that affect the health and upkeep of their household. I simply implore everyone to evaluate their priorities carefully. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this lesson and gained some valuable perspective towards all of your prospective purchases this holiday shopping season! Moreover, we at Queen Vacuum wish you and your family a joyous and blessed conclusion to this year, however you celebrate!    

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